Gratitude is something I struggle with…. a lot. Not because
I’m not thankful for the things that I have. I am thankful. I struggle with
taking the time to stop and assess my blessings, which is probably worse.
Gratitude is also hard because I feel like I spend so much time trying to get
things done that I’m too focused on my task list.
I was less active in the church for a very long time and I
really do feel like I’m be working to make up for lost service opportunities
until the day I die. There is no time to sit back and think about how good I
have it and “count my many blessings”. However, my wife tells me all the time
that’s exactly why I need to do it.
That’s what really stood out to me this week. The idea that
gratitude can be more than just being thankful. I think my service is a way I
try to express my gratitude to the Lord for the things I have received.
Unfortunately, I don’t every think I’ll be comfortable with my level of
service. There is always something else to do!
I’m also something of a loner when it comes to managing a
work effort. As a project manager I have a solid understanding of the
importance of stakeholder management. But in my personal life and in my church
service, I struggle with delegation. I just don’t often feel like someone else
is going to do the job the way I would. That probably pretty arrogant. I mean,
I learn new ways of doing things from people all the time. I should be
welcoming the opportunity to learn skills from others. But I really struggle
with it.
My hope is that the Lord accepts my effort as a way of
expressing my gratitude and is merciful with me to keep blessing me as much as
I can take.
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